By now you have probably heard about turmeric or curcumin and it’s amazing anti-inflammatory properties. I had read about it and started encapsulating dried turmeric to help with my headaches last fall. But it wasn’t until I started working with my doctor (who is wonderful) that I realized that the regular culinary form of turmeric wasn’t going to cut it when it came to really helping me with my inflammation. Or, I was going to have to take a LOT of it to notice a difference.
This is a continuation of my posts about my healing journey. If you haven’t read my previous posts, it may be helpful to read them before you read this one, but it’s not completely necessary.
Deep in my heart I always knew that life was about being happy. And yet, it seemed like the most illusive thing to me for so many years of my life. I may have appeared happy on the outside. I became quite good at putting on a show by appearing happy. But inside, I felt like I was always on an infinite search for peace and happiness within my heart. At times I felt like I found it through certain things like creating artwork, dancing and other things I enjoyed.
However, it never lasted. Life seemed like an endless mountain to be climbed. I would finally reach one peak, find some joy within my heart, only to be crushed by another plummet into depression.
I talked about some of these ups and downs in this post, and now I am finally writing the follow up story of what happened postpartum. You may also be interested in this post about all the changes that have occurred while on the GAPS diet.
I will share that the main reason why I am writing this is because I can’t help but share my experience, no matter how hard it is to share it. It’s one of those things you don’t really want to do, but you feel like there is an invisible string, tugging at your heart, telling you to keep going or doing whatever you’re meant to do in this world.
And some of these things are hard to do. But it’s for a reason. I believe we are all meant to help each other in some way. Even in just small ways. It doesn’t have to be a huge and giant undertaking.
So, enough with the stalling.
The experiences that transpired in my life after I gave birth to my son are some of the hardest I have ever been through in my life. What seemed hard before birth now seems like a walk in the park, not to say that all those years of feeling hopeless and depressed weren’t difficult.
Because it was so difficult, I didn’t share it with many people; not until I actually started finding answers (so typical of me, to be so self-reliant). So many of my family members don’t know the extent to the difficulties we faced as a family the first year or so of Elijah’s life. And the doctors who I visited never got the full run down because I felt so bad about the situation – namely, I blamed myself.
There is a quote that goes something like, “When things get difficult, keep going. You are on the edge of breakthrough.” I don’t know the source and I don’t even think the words are correct, but it was what kept me going on the days I felt like life was falling apart. Turns out, it was true, for which I am very grateful.